When I would go to bed with a woman when I was
young, I didn’t realize that there were many of us in
the bed at the same time. There was her and I, her
parents, my parents, our past lovers, and anyone else
we had unfinished business with. That’s the thing
about being unconscious—we can’t help but bring our
unresolved baggage into every relational encounter.
Talk about an unwelcome orgy! It’s a busy bed when
we are unconscious. A little hard to move around
freely with so many projections on the mattress. One
of the reasons we do the work to heal our past is so
that we can actually create more space for intimacy.
With our patterns fallen away, we stand a much better
chance of holding love safe. With our projections
worked through, we can actually see the beloved with
clear eyes. Finally, it’s just the two of us…
— Jeff Brown (an except from ‘Spiritual Graffiti’)